This is not a joke. If you do not share this post with everyone you know, you will probably die alone.
You must do this before 10pm tonight. If you don’t, beware of what will happen.
Like as soon as you have read this you are already doomed.
If you send to 5 people, your life will go on as normal.
If you send to 10, you will wake up 5 pounds lighter.
If you send to 20, you will get a raise, look younger and have a full tank of gas in your car.
If you send to 50, you will receive a check in the mail for $20,000.
If you send to more than 50, you will receive all of the above and avoid the car accident that would have happened if you sent it to no one.
My very good and very intelligent friends and family have sent (and continue to send) these chain emails to me daily and I count the number of forwards included in the cc section and then I think, “So they are going to live and I’m not because they already sent it to the 10 I was going to send it to!”
Then I get mad and real worried.
And then I forget about it 5 minutes later.
But, in the event that you don’t get anymore email, call or text replies from me, it’s probably because:
- I didn’t drink enough red wine and went into resveratrol deficiency coma.
- I accepted the business card from the stranger at the gas station and was immediately drugged by the perfume on it and robbed.
- I ate too much gluten that my intestines exploded.
- I finally ate a burger at McDonalds made from mutant animals and turned mutant myself.
- The rat feces and cat urine that were in the 2 energy drinks I had finally did me over.
- I’m probably alone in a dark room crying because I trust no one for fear that they are trying to take my kidneys and sell them.
- I’m broke from giving my bank account info to all of the lotteries I’ve won in Singapore in the hopes that they would be transferring in 1.6 billion dollars to that same account.
Most likely though . . . it’s because I didn’t forward that damn chain letter my mom sent me last week.