Talk about a FOUR_LETTER WORD.
This one little word has generated more negativity and evil than any of the other more seemingly gross expressions we all would immediately recognize.
Certainly we need it for self-preservation and well being. You better have fear if there’s a gun being pointed at you in a dark alley and you better be scared when some stranger walks up to your toddler and tries to take her hand. So to be more accurate, I will call it unwarranted fear. The kind of fear that is crippling. The kind that you can control, but just can’t seem to control. The kind that stops you in your tracks and makes you turn away from opportunity. The kind that makes you cower instead of taking a stand. The kind that lets someone else take your power.
Ah, and then there’s another side of fear that makes you angry and retaliate. “If he doesn’t love me then I will destroy him!” I’m talking slashed tires, broken windows, lies, and all that Single White Female crazy crap. The verbally abusive spouse or the physically abusive parent. Yeah, that’s fear too and it might look tough, but it’s still fear and it is so powerful and it will do all it can to protect that ego of yours, including ruining lives.
I learned about fear through my good friend, Rhonda Britten. She’s nothing short of fricken’ fantastic and she knows everything to do with fear and how to have a relationship with it. Yeah, that’s right. A relationship with your fear. Because I can tell you one thing. It ain’t going nowhere! There is no such thing as never having fear again. Fear will always be there, so you better learn how to deal!
I interviewed Rhonda a few weeks ago for The Draw Shop’s Get Genius Podcast and I can’t wait for it to air and share it with you all.
You know how once you are aware of something, it pops up everywhere? Since I first met Rhonda and heard her speak a few years ago, I have major ‘fear awareness’. It changed my life and how I perceive people and actions and intentions.
It’s frustrating sometimes for me to see someone battling with their fear. Like the woman who had something rotten happen to her 20 years ago and has since lived life as an entitled victim who is owed everything because of her bad experience. Or the guy who had a dysfunctional, tragic childhood and since thinks that everyone is always out to get him and he has just cause to be mean and take it out on others. Or the brilliant woman who has the potential to change the world, but instead fears failure so much that she stays stagnant.
Understanding fear and what it can do to me and to others has made life much more simpler. Fear is still unpleasant and you recognize fear in yourself in the form of irritability, insecurity, anger, arrogance, temper tantrums, entitlement, blame, etc. But, when you recognize the purpose of it, it’s like gaining a new superpower.