I frequently battle with not wanting to do certain things. I don’t particularly love folding laundry or taking the trash out. I also don’t love paying the bills or watering the plants. I really don’t like plunging a clogged toilet. But, sometimes, I just have to suck it up and do it. Responsibility. It can be a bitch. But, to me an even bigger annoying bitch is a lazy person that will just not do it at all.
Lazy has its days. Like coming home from a business trip and wanting to just lay around, watch movies, read a book, play on my phone, surf the web and not take a shower till 6pm. The laundry can wait. The art of doing nothing in all its glory.
But lazy shows up in different ways. Like getting all excited to follow a program or system and then neglecting it after you barely begun. It’s non-commitment. It’s saying you’re going to do something with conviction and then not doing it at all. It’s leaving things to the last minute. It’s doing something only because you really really have to and only because it’s going to get you a quick extrinsic reward.
And now I have to admit (and I apologize for offending anyone), consistently lazy people frustrate and annoy me. I think I actually have an allergy to them. Supposedly irritation is a form of fear. So, I had to look at this. My tolerance of lazy is next to nothing. It’s like even though they aren’t doing anything to take up any energy, they are so non-energetic that it drains the energy. What is it that I am afraid of? And I realized… the disorder makes me feel out of control. Busy lives require time management and systems. I enjoy lazy days and spontaneity, but in a structured form. I like knowing that things won’t fall a part when I take a hiatus. But, that’s not always reality. And ‘lazy’ just reminds me that it can all fall apart!
So then I dove in some more. Why are lazy people so annoying to me? And then I came to this realization…I think the biggest trait of a lazy person that annoys me is that lazy people generally want everything handed to them (#entitled) and then whatever they are given, they complain about. And this taps into another fear. Not being appreciated.
Unless you have responsibilities, you can really understand gratitude. I think that you really lose the experience of happiness when you are consistently lazy.
The Whine: If you really want something, you have to… you know, get up off your ass and actually do something. The intrinsic reward feels so much better than the extrinsic.
…”lazy people generally want everything handed to them (#entitled) and then whatever they are given, they complain about.”
I’m often called lazy- I’m disabled, and unable to fit in any work environment. On a personal level, I pretty much have no responsibilities. My living space (a single room) is not clean, my bed doesn’t even have sheets- I sleep on top of a comforter- and I only spend five minutes once a week running around as fast as possible to throw out *some* of the trash.
Why doesn’t this bother me? Why should I spend hours a day (when combined, not consecutively) doing things I don’t want to do? Sure, I have to pull teeth and do some of the chores eventually- but why go beyond what’s necessary? For me (and this is the key, each person’s circumstances are different, so judging me compared to others is moot) no one will ever be in my room- I missed my chance to marry when I was younger, and have no local friends who may visit, so I have no one ever in my living space. I don’t need room- I’m either in bed or my computer chair. Why would I care that there’s a stack of empty pop cups stacked on a nearby storage container waiting to be thrown out some month down the road, or care that I never dust or use a vacuum cleaner? As long as there’s no bugs crawling around, it’s not hurting anyone. I can spend my short life miserable doing stuff for no reason, or enjoy the majority of my time doing what I love.
The myth of the “lazy person” (i.e. “entitled”) is an easy judgment trap to fall into. People have those unique circumstances. When I was younger, I worked eight straight years, 7 days a week, average 14 hour days, regularly overnight. The only time off in that stretch was two company switches (lasting about two weeks each) and two different weeks where I suffered mental exhaustion from never enjoying my life and working- doing what I did not want to be doing- 100% of the time.
As to complaining, that’s also deceiving. I mean, I now get 1/8th income in aid per month compared to what I used to make in salary. But be certain I complain heartily about it- gratitude for receiving the aid is not a descriptor I would first choose. It’s an unlivable wage, and I did nothing but inherent an incurable genetic health disorder to deserve this life punishment. I reserve my right to complain when I didn’t do anything wrong- and can’t do anything to change it. When society stops punishing those of us who did nothing wrong, I will then be grateful. But when I can’t even afford my own one room apartment to have privacy as a middle aged person, instead of having to crash at a parent’s house, there’s no chance of me feeling grateful. And no, the argument of “you could be homeless” doesn’t hold sway- it’s hypothetical, and doesn’t change the realities of living such an existence, which does have specific impacts limiting how fully you can live life freely.
“If you really want something, you have to… you know, get up off your ass and actually do something.”
This is a nice sentiment, but we are not in full control in our lives. There are societal constructs that can stand in the way, and we do not have control over them. Other people have the power, and we are at the mercy of chaos and luck. Hard work is not always rewarded- I’m a living example. After working those eight straight years, I gained nothing and lost everything. One company failed to pay me owed wages, ruining my credit to this day 15 years later. I lost my chance to ever own my own home. I missed my chance to get married and have kids. I lost my career- now I’m too old for work opportunities…if I was able to function in our work obsessed culture, where companies expect such preposterous efforts such as I was forced to endure. We are not meant to work six or seven days a week, 10 or more hours a day.
Life is short- enjoy your days and take time off. It’s healthier than the pressure cooker we’ve been living in, and adding a strict regiment of personal chores (perfect lawn, perfect house, perfect car) simply compounds our stress levels- and our misery.