It’s a tricky topic in my mind. I know what it’s like to feel hatred for someone who violates you, someone you love or the security of your life. I know what it’s like to spend too much energy wishing that they didn’t have to have any part of your life. And the only good that came from those feelings was that I hated those feelings just as much. So much so that it pushed me into finding the solution.
So, now I know what it feels like to get to the point of indifference, where the hatred is gone, no energy is being spent thinking about them and they become insignificant to you. It’s a peaceful feeling that creeps up on you. It’s a state of mind you make a choice to reach, but are still surprised when you look back and realize that that situation, hurt and hate doesn’t consume any part of you anymore. It simply… was.
Last week I posted a quote, “Hating someone makes them important. Forgiving makes them obsolete.” While they may exist around you, only you allow them in. You can choose the kind of impact they will have on your life. But before choosing forgiveness, remember that the act of forgiveness can be misunderstood.
I fear that, for some, forgiveness means to allow again. That it’s the invitation to let someone in again. But, the forgiveness does not excuse or condone the wrong that was done and it does not erase the memory of the hurt that was caused. That wrong is a beautiful teacher and excellent preparation.
True forgiveness is just the release of the negative thoughts and the letting go of the grudge. This frees your energy up to allow good into your life and prevents the person who betrayed or violated you from taking up that good.
What is forgiveness for you?