Opportunists Disguised as Friends

Many years ago, I stopped communication with a very close friend. I could put my finger on certain situations that made me decide to do this, but I couldn’t put my finger on the one characteristic that I suddenly wizened up to.

As I matured, it was clear to me. She was an opportunist and not just with me but with every other relationship in her life. Family, friends, boyfriends. I didn’t agree with it and it wasn’t something that would ever change, so I had to decide what kind of friends I really wanted to surround myself with. Turned out, I wasn’t the only one that spoke up about it.

Looking for opportunity is a good thing. It’s expansive. It’s when the desire for someone’s own needs trumps any consequence to another person that it becomes hurtful. By definition, an opportunist is one who sees a chance to gain some advantage from a situation, often at the expense of ethics or morals.

And yet, many people make time for these opportunists. Perhaps because opportunists are great at portraying what a good friend looks like. They know how to manipulate their way back in even if they have caused pain. How can you really spot an opportunist?

It’s the ones that seem to always be asking you for favors, but never return those favors.

They are the person that takes advantage of someone else so that they can get money, a place to live, a job, fame, a jazzy electronic device…. Anything that makes them feel ahead in life.

You’ll notice when they have a new group of friends every few months and they are not really hanging with the old anymore. They can’t seem to hold relationships.

Sadly, they go for the weakest link. If you are super forgiving, be careful. Forgiving is a good thing, but forgiving and then leaving the door wide open is bate for the opportunist.

They have a pattern of being really sweet and nice when they need something. They are good at playing genuine and caring and then they change out of the blue when they’ve moved on or you haven’t given them what they want.

They are there for the fun! But, when things get serious, they run.

Have you ever experienced the opportunist?