Truth 3: You will never be free until you let go of the nuts.
“It’s the uncertainty that’s killing me!”
How many times have you heard that? Well, it’s true. That is exactly what is killing you, so why not just accept the uncertainty?
Because detaching ourselves from a desired outcome is hard for us humans.
There’s a brilliant anecdote. I’m one of many to tell it and if you’ve heard it before then it’s a fantastic reminder. I don’t know the exact telling, but you’ll get the point.
In India, a man dropped a handful of nuts into a jar that had a small opening with the intention of catching a monkey. A monkey came over and put his hand in the jar. He grabbed the nuts. But, he soon found that he could not get his hand through the opening. Monkey caught.
If the monkey would have just let go of the nuts, he could have freed himself.
When you accept uncertainty and detach yourself from whatever it is you are holding onto, you experience freedom. You understand that you aren’t bound to the past and you certainly aren’t bound to what you know now. Instead you have surrendered yourself into the natural occurrence of creativity.
You can’t control someone else’s thoughts or actions. You can’t control the weather. You can’t control every circumstance. Those things are all uncertain. Our egos are desperate to control the outcome. But think of how that feels. To me, it feels tight. My whole body feels tense. It’s like trying so hard to hold on to something and the tighter you hold the more uncomfortable you are, but you think you have control.
When you let go and just accept what is and what will be, suddenly the weight lifts and you are free.
You can wish hard, which may have some powers… and you can do things that inspire others. Note: INSPIRE is totally different than manipulating or tricking. You can’t make your spouse be healthy, but they can see the healthy changes you are making and be inspired by you… or not. Not in your control.
You can share your ideas on how you think things should be and you can offer solutions, but keep in mind that the more you push those solutions onto others with extreme attachment that they have to work out or else, the less freedom you have, the more insecure you feel.
Look at what you are clinging to today. What is it that is making you worry, feel resentment, judge others and have discontent? Do you see why they are causing those feelings? Do you notice what you are attached to and why you can’t let those nuts go?
If it involves a person, let them be who they are. They won’t change because you want them to.
If it’s a situation, don’t force the solution anymore. Let it evolve as it needs to.
Can’t detach so quickly. It’s a process. But here’s a few ways to get you started:
- Recognize what you are attached to and give those feeling some acknowledgment. Know that they are valid and don’t push them away. Label them. “I feel scared.” “I feel ashamed.” “I feel rejected.”
- Ask yourself what happens if things don’t go the way you want them to. Then what? Feel those feelings too. Will you be okay?
- When new ideas come up for you, take action because you are excited about the creation rather than trying to prove something to someone else.
Here’s what happens when you detach and let go:
- You worry less. (More energy for you to be awesome!)
- You accept moments as they are instead of dwelling on what could have been.
- You are way more productive.
- You have peace of mind.
Those alone will undoubtedly contribute to a better you (nut free).