Welcome back to another fabulous episode of the Everything Always podcast! Summer here, and today I’m speaking with Rochelle Long, MA, LMHC, an expert who counsels couples and families through all kinds of challenges like divorce, separation, new marriages, life changes, and co-parenting.
Although we often talk about co-parenting, there is another way: Parallel parenting. If you and your ex have a high-conflict relationship, parallel parenting may be best for you and your children. In either case, the relationship with the other parent should be strictly business. Focus on what’s best for the children and make decisions when in a rational – not emotional – state.
Rochelle will also go into the ugly truth about parental alienation. Unfortunately, even though parental alienation rarely has substance or is validated, it can seriously damage hearts and relationships. Listen in to hear how to better navigate blended family life, and learn the telltale signs of parental alienation so you can re-focus on what is best for your children.
01:00 – 05:00 – Introducing Rochelle Long, her journey, and the topics for today’s show
05:00 – 17:00 – Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting and parental alienation
17:00 – 24:00 – The complexities that arise in blended families and some tips to navigate them
24:00 – 36:00 – Examples of parental alienation and how Rochelle deals with it
36:00 – 40:00 – The steps she takes to heal parental alienation
40:00 – 42:00 – Contact Rochelle and get her free eBook here
Takeaways:
- Whether parallel parenting or co-parenting is a good fit depends on whether the parent relationship is considered high-conflict.
- Parallel parenting is best for high-conflict relationships – assuming abuse isn’t a concern.
Co-parenting is best for all other relationships.
- Have a business relationship with your ex and do what’s best for the children.
- The 24-48-hour rule. If something upsets you about the other parent, give it 24-48 hours before you speak to them about it. This allows you to speak from a rational place instead of an emotional one.
- It takes time to stop parental alienation. If you’re being alienated, don’t give up on your child.
- There are two types of parental alienation. Implicit, where one parent doesn’t know they’re alienating the other, and explicit, where they do.
Quotes:
- “Most stepparents I meet mean well. They just don’t know their boundaries.” – Rochelle
- As a stepparent: “Allow the natural parents to parent and follow their lead.” – Rochelle
- “Think about what is fair for the child. It’s not all about you.” – Summer
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