Today I’m speaking with Naja Hall, a family and life coach dedicated to promoting harmony and restoring balance in mending, broken, and blended millennial families. She is the Founder of Blended and Black, a thriving online community complete with support groups, online courses, and a popular blog. She’s also launching her new podcast, “I know I’m Crazy”!
Naja knows how easy it is to stay in the land of victimhood. That’s why she helps new step and co parents get past projections and be unbothered so they can have peace with themselves – regardless of whatever wild roller coaster someone else is on. The truth is, when it comes to navigating a relationship with a new co-parent, we can only take accountability for our own actions and emotions.
Naja will also get into boundary-setting and conscious, intentional interaction with your new co-parent. Although you’ll probably never become BFFs with your partner’s ex, it is possible to create a relationship with them that is built on boundaries and respect. Listen in to hear how to keep a stable home for the kids, maintain loyalty binds without taking it to the extreme, and connect with other families that are in the same boat.
01:00 – 05:00 – Introducing Naja, her mission, and her journey
05:00 – 10:00 – Steps to swerve past projections, be unbothered, and have peace
10:00 – 12:30 – Seeing instability, taking accountability, and getting off someone else’s ride
12:30 – 17:30 – The importance of boundary-setting and conscious interaction
17:30 – 23:30 – Navigating the bio and step relationship with boundaries and respect
23:30 – 28:30 – How to keep stability in the home for the kids
28:30 – 34:00 – Loyalty binds versus enmeshment and the outcome of each
- You can gain skills to swerve past projections so they can stop weighing you down.
- If you continue to play the victim, you’ll never find peace.
- You don’t need others to change in order to get out of your victim mentality.
- There are mechanisms to heal and become calm after induced or outside trauma.
- Don’t jump on another person’s roller coaster. Don’t play the game.
- Set boundaries and recognize your reactions.
- Choose your interactions wisely.
- Don’t expect to become best friends with your new co-parent; create a relationship that is based upon boundaries and respect.
- Redemption – in most cases – is possible.
- Kids don’t feel stable if they feel they need to protect their parent(s).
- Loyalty binds to parents are natural, enmeshment is unhealthy.
- “It’s easy to live in the land of victimhood.” – Naja Hall
- “Feelings are just what they are. Sometimes it’s just gas.” –Naja Hall
- “Don’t play the game.” – Naja Hall
- “Turn the ugly into something productive.” –Naja Hall
- “A healthy parent realizes early on what their role is in this person’s [their kid’s] life. An unhealthy parent forms an unhealthy attachment and keeps their kid from forming positive relationships in the future.” –Naja Hall
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