Today I’m interviewing Toby Hazlewood an author, freelance writer, father, husband and project manager. He has written on topics including parenting, personal development, modern-life, culture and entrepreneurship. As founder of Divorced Lifestyle Design, Toby is passionate about inspiring those who are working through divorce or separation to choose to thrive rather than merely survive after divorce.
Toby exemplifies that a post-divorce life can be awesome – which can be hard to imagine when you’re in the thick of it. He shares tools and mindset hacks that you can use to reframe your situation and push forward happily and healthily.
On today’s episode, Toby will talk about “bird nesting”; an unconventional living situation where the children live in their own home full-time and their divorced parents live with them in turns. That’s very different from the traditional way we have the kids move back and forth, right? Listen in to hear why Toby is so passionate about living a post-divorce life by design rather than convention.
01:00 – 06:00 – Introducing Toby Hazlewood and today’s topic
06:00 – 13:00 – Toby’s journey and “new start”
13:00 – 19:00 – Tips from the “90-Day Playbook for Thriving After Divorce”
19:00 – 28:00 – Toby’s blended family dynamic and “bird nesting”
28:00 – 33:00 – How “bird nesting” impacted the new spouses and families
33:00 – 36:00 – Uniting the whole family in or out of the nest
36:00 – 41:00 – The biggest challenge of “bird nesting”: Changing rules, same home
41:00 – Going outside the box to create a life by design and thrive
- You can treat divorce as a new start to build something better.
- Whatever comes after divorce doesn’t have to be second best.
- No matter how you feel about the divorce, respect that it takes time to recover from it.
- Break up the divorce recovery process into manageable chunks.
- Celebrate little accomplishments along the journey; don’t wait for an end.
- “Bird nesting” is when the children have one home and the parents live with them in turns.
- Bird nesting is a unique living situation that isn’t for everyone but can allow the kids to stay in one place while the parents take on the burden of moving back and forth.
- Bird nesting requires a level of trust, respect, and teamwork to work successfully.
- When dating, it’s important to let others know of the arrangements you have with your kids and ex.
- Be unified on the things that matter; loosen up on the things that don’t.
- “Bird nesting” requires the children to have a psychological shift with each parent.
- You can custom design the ideal situation and make things better after divorce.
- “You’ve got it in you to recover.” –Toby Hazlewood
- “Enjoy the achievements you make along the way.” – Toby Hazlewood
- “The golden rule of it all is: Is it in the kid’s best interest?” – Toby Hazlewood
- Divorced Lifestyle Design Facebook community
- Toby’s Website – Divorced Lifestyle Design
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