Many Everything Always listeners are writing in to let us know that they are childless step-parents seeking better ways to navigate their new role. That’s why I’m so excited to have Heather Stewart on the show to talk about all the different facets of this rewarding – and sometimes challenging – position within a blended family.
Before she met her husband, Heather lived a life for herself. After all, she was single with no kids! But, when she fell in love with a man who had two young boys, everything changed. She naturally moved into a parental role to help her husband and discovered everything that comes with blended family life.
Today, Heather and I will discuss how she moved into the role of step-mom and the things she, her husband, and the bio-mom do to communicate courteously and effectively. We’ll also get into parenting involvement and letting go of resentments for the sake of the kids. Listen in to hear how Heather connected with her step-sons, why they call her “mom”, and what she has realized about mini parent fails.
00:30 – 07:30 – Introducing Heather and how she became an insta-mom
07:30 – 13:00 – Navigating the relationship with step-kids and the bio-parent
13:00 – 24:00 – Knowing when to get involved and keeping emotions in check
24:00 – 30:00 – Heather’s connection with her step-kids and why they call her “mom”
30:00 – 36:30 – Putting your child’s happiness first, letting little things go, and staying positive
36:30 – 42:00 – Heather’s blog and her voice for “wicked” step-moms
- Come into the role of a step-parent as a support for the parent.
- Naturally moving into the role of parent eases the process for step parent and child.
- The transition to step-parenthood can be easier with younger kids.
- A group text with all parents can be helpful when communicating about school things, drop-offs, etc.
- Know when to get involved and when to stay out of conversations about the kids.
- Recognize when reactions are emotionally driven and see small things for what they are.
- Put your true feelings in a text or email to your significant other or yourself – don’t send it to the bio-parent in the heat of your emotions.
- Do your best to be respectful and communicate in a way that is productive and courteous.
- Find tools to deal with your emotions in a healthy, productive way.
- It can be hard for a bio-parent to see their kids connecting with a new parent. Be empathetic towards that.
- If your kids are happy, be happy. Don’t let resentments get in the way.
- Step-moms – and real moms – make mistakes. Let it go.
- “Sometimes you just want to have a voice.” –Heather Stewart
- “Things aren’t always going to be perfect.” –Heather Stewart
- “With adults involved who are complicating things, it’s really hard sometimes to just see the child in it.” –Heather Stewart
- Heather’s Blog – WickedStepMom.com
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