Co-Parenting When You Have Different Values

On Friday mornings, at 7am PST, we do a Facebook Live that we call Brewing with the Moulders. Basically, we roll out of bed, brew some coffee, go live, and talk about all kinds of things that come up in life. Like a box of chocolates, you’ll never know what you’re gonna get – whether it be funny, serious, intellectual…or not – but it’s always a good time. Join us sometime!

We sparked up a conversation a couple weeks ago has that continued via direct messages and personal conversations, so we decided it’d be a great topic to discuss here. The topic – having different values than your co-parent – is clearly one that blended families are begging to have brought to the limelight.

Today, we’ll discuss the common issues that arise when there’s a difference in values and how to move past them. The thing is, you probably aren’t going to change your ex’s values, so the real hurdle is changing the way you see them. Listen in to hear how consistency, communication, respect, understanding, and appreciation are the keys to a happier co-parenting experience – and learn why your kids will be so much better off when this is the case.

02:30 – 04:00 – Today’s topic: Having different values than your co-parent

04:00 – 08:00 – Values and the complications that arise when they are misaligned

08:00 – 12:30 – Emulating the same values you try to instill in your child

12:30 – 17:00 – Allowing communication, respect, and understanding

17:00 – 19:30 – A letter from a listener to exemplify co-parenting with misaligned values

19:30 – 22:00 – Allowing your kids to form an opinion and asking them questions

Takeaways:

Choose your battles; don’t make a big deal over things that aren’t worth it.
You can’t determine which parent has “the right” values.
Practicing what you preach and being consistent is the best example you can give.
Communicate values with your child by explaining yours and letting them form theirs.
Seek to understand and respect the values of your co-parent.
There are things you cannot control. The best you can do is teach them what’s “right”.
Appreciate the good things that they’re learning from the other parent.
Ask your child their opinion. What would they do as a parent?

Quotes:

“Your values are right – for you and your household.” –Summer
“Don’t be one of those ‘because I said so’ parents.” – Mike
“Who’s to say that your values are the absolute ideal?” – Summer

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