Brian Mayer is a couples expert who focuses on remarried couples and blended families, and he joins me today to get super candid about the struggles both face. Brian is also a mental health therapist, so he’ll be sharing his insight on how our feelings and reactions can either help or hinder our relationships with our exes and our current partners.
Listen in as we discuss your most common questions about co-parenting and blending families while also nurturing a new relationship and keeping yourself in check. You’ll hear the best tips Brian has learned to overcome challenging times and how to get comfortable being uncomfortable in a blended family.
4:00 – 8:40 – How Brian got into this line of work.
8:40 – 10:40 – How to begin to evaluate and take responsibility for your responsibility in a co-parenting relationship.
10:40 – 13:15 – Tips for co-parents to avoid high conflict situations.
13:15 – 15:00 – How to determine your own part in the chaos and how to get out of the negative loop.
15:00 – 16:10 – Understanding the fight-or-flight mode and how it affects our relationships.
16:10 – 17:10 – One of the most common things Brian hears in his practice.
17:20 – 20:45 – How to protect your relationship with your ex-partner and your current partner.
20:45 – 24:10 – The most common things Brian deals with when working with new marriages.
24:10 – 25:55 – How to avoid conflict with your current partner over your past divorce.
25:55 -27:30 – How to get comfortable in a blended family situation.
27:30 – 34:20 – How to overcome feelings of guilt in a new marriage about time spent with your kids.
34:20 – 38:00 – How to embrace the uncomfortableness of a blended family.
- How to protect your new relationship and the relationship with your kids without jeopardizing the other.
- Tips on co-parenting peacefully.
- How to get out of a negative loop with your ex-partner.
- Advice for evaluating your feelings and assessing how they are affecting your behavior.
- How to embrace being uncomfortable in a blended family.
- “Sometimes when they’re upset or they’re angry, it really isn’t about us.”
- “It’s the loop that is the enemy. It’s not either of you.”
- “Sometimes the hardest thing for us to do is sort of look in the mirror to realize our own part in the chaos.”
3 Interesting Clips:
- 11:45 – 12:20 – How to avoid triggering your ex-partner when it comes to co-parenting.
- 25:30 – 25:45 – What the research says about the time it takes to get comfortable in a blended family.
- 29:05 – 29:40 – A great analogy about how to determine how to parent your kids today.
- Brian Mayer: Website | Podcast
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